The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness by Bari Tessler

Author:Bari Tessler [Tessler, Bari]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
ISBN: 9781941529218
Publisher: Parallax Press
Published: 2016-06-14T06:00:00+00:00

BE PATIENT. EXPECT MESSES AND CLEAN THEM UP

So many couples are terrified to even begin having Money Dates together: they can’t imagine that having good, intimate, enjoyable conversations about money is even possible, given their history of fighting about money (or avoiding the topic altogether). Many couples have only ever talked about money in heated or crisis moments: right before bed when they’re exhausted or when the credit card statement arrives and one of them is shocked at how the other spent money that month.

This bears repeating: Money Dates with your honey will take practice. Most of us were simply never taught how to have safe, compassionate, and playful money conversations with our partners, so it takes some time to open up lines of communication around money and make these conversations feel safe and good. At first, this may be uncomfortable, but over time, tension dissolves and is replaced by compassion, intimacy, and understanding. I have seen this over and over and over. Trust the process, stick with it, and be patient.

My husband and I have had serious fights about money. We’ve locked horns about spending decisions. We’ve had to cut Money Dates short so we could each go to our respective corners, cool off, and do some introspecting about why we were so triggered.

Sometimes, things get messy. Emotions get stirred up. This is normal and part of the process of learning how to talk about money with your honey. Things will not go perfectly all the time. That does not mean you’re doing things wrong, or that you can’t get better at this practice. Embrace the process, do the best you can, and accept the messiness with as much spaciousness and love as you can muster. You may even want to close your Money Dates by each sharing one thing you appreciate about your partner, so you end on a sweet note.

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